This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
