dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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