So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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