so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
