either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
