I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
