we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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