I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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