you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
