She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
