Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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