shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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