If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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