i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
