pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
