we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
