i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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