You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
