It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
