I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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