Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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