I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
