did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My bed is full of blood and feathers
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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