So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
