puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You were trust falling into bushes
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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