my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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