I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
This is the high leading the old right now
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
