Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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