so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
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