You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
