We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
