is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
