butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
