thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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