No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
