I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
