Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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