Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
