You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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