let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
