I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
