Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
