I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I think my nap took me to another dimension
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
