i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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