Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
