Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
