There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
