you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
