my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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