Quick, to the slutcave!
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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